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1 - Pilot

After Charlie's night with a girl is ruined due to Alan's interruption, Alan moves in, being kicked out of his house by his "suffocated" wife: Judith.

Season : 1 | Episode: 1

2 - Big Flappy Bastards

While spending time with Jake, Charlie finds it hard to enforce rules that Alan has set out for him. It gets to the point were Jake lures a flock of

Season : 1 | Episode: 2

9 - Phase One, Complete

After meeting Wendy, a one-night stand of Charlies, Jake befriends her. Charlie doesn't like this situation, as he believes Wendy is using Jake to fu

Season : 1 | Episode: 9

10 - Merry Thanksgiving

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa over for Thanksgiving dinner

Season : 1 | Episode: 10

12 - Camel Filters + Pheromones

When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.

Season : 1 | Episode: 12

13 - Sara Like Puny Alan

Charlie finally gets a chance for a double date with a hot neighbor, who is out for revenge on her cheating husband, and her sister who's a hot soap o

Season : 1 | Episode: 13

16 - That Was Saliva, Alan

Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run; Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.

Season : 1 | Episode: 16

23 - Just Like Buffalo

Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

Season : 1 | Episode: 23

2 - Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician, and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.

Season : 2 | Episode: 2

3 - A Bag Full of Jawea

Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension for giving his teacher (Missi Pyle) the finger by romancing her, but his several attempts fail every

Season : 2 | Episode: 3

4 - Go Get Mommy's Bra

Jake is very impressed and can't stop talking about his mother's new boyfriend, Dr. Melnick, which annoys Alan. While Evelyn borrows Charlie's car t

Season : 2 | Episode: 4

9 - Yes, Monsignor

When Charlie leaves the house to avoid a date that he can't stand, he ends up at a coffee shop, where he meets his old girlfriend Lisa. He finds out

Season : 2 | Episode: 9

10 - The Salmon Under My Sweater

Charlie tries to get Jake's approval on a theme song that he is hired to write for a television show, which is based on a comic book that Jake is a fa

Season : 2 | Episode: 10

12 - A Lungful of Alan

Alan is jealous of Charlie when an old classmate, who's now a beautiful woman, seems to be more interested in Charlie.

Season : 2 | Episode: 12

13 - Get Off My Hair

After an earthquake hits, Judith's house is damaged and she needs a place to stay. So Alan decides to invite her to stay with him and Charlie, without

Season : 2 | Episode: 13

15 - Smell the Umbrella Stand

Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it, Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas.

Season : 2 | Episode: 15

17 - Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!

After Charlie has back pain, Alan decides to take him to the Hospital. While there Charlie can't stop hitting on the doctor who is examining him. The

Season : 2 | Episode: 17

18 - It Was Mame, Mom

Charlie is invited to a party hosted by a gay ad-executive named Eric, so Charlie asks Alan to pretend that he's his life partner. While at the party

Season : 2 | Episode: 18

3 - Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose,

Season : 3 | Episode: 3

5 - We Called It Mr. Pinky

Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a g

Season : 3 | Episode: 5

6 - Hi, Mr. Horned One

Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

Season : 3 | Episode: 6

7 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father (Martin Sheen), comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for

Season : 3 | Episode: 7

14 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

Season : 3 | Episode: 14

15 - My Tongue is Meat

Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what

Season : 3 | Episode: 15

16 - Ergo, The Booty Call

Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her bo

Season : 3 | Episode: 16

18 - The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile,

Season : 3 | Episode: 18

19 - Golly Moses, She's A Muffin

Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a livin

Season : 3 | Episode: 19

21 - And the Plot Moistens

Jake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platoni

Season : 3 | Episode: 21

22 - Just Once With Aunt Sophie

A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charli

Season : 3 | Episode: 22

23 - Arguments for the Quickie

Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he

Season : 3 | Episode: 23

1 - Working for Caligula

Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle after Alan moves out of the house. Alan suffers a breakdown after his divorce from Kandi.

Season : 4 | Episode: 1

3 - The Sea is a Harsh Mistress

Charlie tries to surf to impress Dottie, a beautiful woman he just met, but after he nearly drowns he is convinced that he saw his late father.

Season : 4 | Episode: 3

5 - A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Alan is overjoyed by the prospect of Judith remarrying, as he would no longer have to pay alimony. Alan gets Charlie to help him when it looks like th

Season : 4 | Episode: 5

8 - Release the Dogs

Alan suffers from insomnia. He visits his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch), who reveals that the cause of Alan's sleepless nights is his jealousy towards Cha

Season : 4 | Episode: 8

9 - Corey's Been Dead For an Hour

Charlie gets tired of Alan's mooching and reaches the breaking point during the brothers' double date. Jake is left home alone for the first time.

Season : 4 | Episode: 9

10 - Kissing Abraham Lincoln

Worrying Charlie may get rid of one of them, Berta and Lydia fight over him. Meanwhile, Kandi does everything she can to stop Alan from selling their

Season : 4 | Episode: 10

11 - Walnuts and Demerol

Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to

Season : 4 | Episode: 11

13 - Don't Worry, Speed Racer

Jake shares that he has heard his mother having sex with her fiancée, Herb; this revelation brings up a repressed memory for Charlie. This leads Char

Season : 4 | Episode: 13

15 - My Damn Stalker

Rose is moving to London, and Charlie is surprised by his reaction to the news. Alan lies to a woman he met online.

Season : 4 | Episode: 15

16 - Young People Have Phlegm Too

Charlie's young, hot girlfriend takes him to a new club. She invites Alan to meet one of her friends but the men are shocked to learn that they are co

Season : 4 | Episode: 16

17 - I Merely Slept With a Commie

After Evelyn tells Alan and Charlie how she feels about there being no mourners at her friend’s funeral, the boys share their feelings that this cou

Season : 4 | Episode: 17

21 - Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Alan and Charlie re-examine their sexual identities after Alan befriends Greg, a gay man. Meanwhile, Jake has a crush on Greg's daughter.

Season : 4 | Episode: 21

22 - Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Jake gets lucky after Charlie takes him to the racetrack. Meanwhile, Alan has a difficult time at the DMV.

Season : 4 | Episode: 22

24 - Prostitutes and Gelato

Evelyn's boyfriend, Teddy, invites Alan and Charlie to go with him to Las Vegas on his private jet. The boys confront their individual 'daddy issues'

Season : 4 | Episode: 24

1 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.

Season : 5 | Episode: 1

2 - Media Room Slash Dungeon

Charlie acts strange after spending an evening with his mother, and a woman Alan slept with behaves oddly the next morning.

Season : 5 | Episode: 2

3 - Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be

Season : 5 | Episode: 3

4 - City of Great Racks

Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turn

Season : 5 | Episode: 4

8 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fa

Season : 5 | Episode: 8

10 - Kinda Like Necrophilia

Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.

Season : 5 | Episode: 10

13 - The Soil is Moist

Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends.

Season : 5 | Episode: 13

1 - Taterhead is Our Love Child

In the 6th season opener, Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend (Rena Sofer) and a child who bears a striking resemblance to Charlie.

Season : 6 | Episode: 1

2 - Pie Hole, Herb

Charlie borrowed money from Alan and on the day he is supposed to pay him back, Alan goes to ask Charlie for the money. He again finds Charlie in bed

Season : 6 | Episode: 2

3 - Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer.

Season : 6 | Episode: 3

5 - A Jock Strap in Hell

Charlie tries to help Jake's former teacher, who became a stripper after dating him, but things go from bad to worse when she has a religious conversi

Season : 6 | Episode: 5

6 - It's Always Nazi Week (1)

When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking; Jake is sent to stay with a less-than-willing Charlie for three months during Judith's meltdo

Season : 6 | Episode: 6

8 - Pinocchio's Mouth

Charlie's new girlfriend Chelsea asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone, while Alan tries to en

Season : 6 | Episode: 8

9 - The Mooch At The Boo

Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to A

Season : 6 | Episode: 9

11 - The Devil's Lube

Charlie finds himself re-examining his wild ways when an old friend dies and begins to feel that his time on Earth may be drawing to a close.

Season : 6 | Episode: 11

18 - My Son's Enormous Head

Chelsea's illness gives Charlie a chance to prove he can take care of her, but also yearning to run away from the situation.

Season : 6 | Episode: 18

19 - The Two Finger Rule

After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, He

Season : 6 | Episode: 19

21 - Above Exalted Cyclops

Chelsea is asked by Alan to arrange a blind date between he and her new friend, unaware that her new friend is Rose.

Season : 6 | Episode: 21

22 - Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Charlie mourns the loss of his bachelor pad as he reluctantly allows Chelsea to move in. Meanwhile, Alan discovers there is no longer much space left

Season : 6 | Episode: 22

24 - Baseball with Better Steroids

Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan a

Season : 6 | Episode: 24

6 - The Squat and The Hover

Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.

Season : 9 | Episode: 6

7 - Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

Season : 9 | Episode: 7

9 - Frodo's Headshots

Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.

Season : 9 | Episode: 9

12 - One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

Season : 9 | Episode: 12

14 - A Possum on Chemo

Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.

Season : 9 | Episode: 14

16 - Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.

Season : 9 | Episode: 16

17 - Not In My Mouth

Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.

Season : 9 | Episode: 17

19 - Palmdale, Ech

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.

Season : 9 | Episode: 19

20 - Grandma's Pie

Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.

Season : 9 | Episode: 20

21 - Mr. Hose Says Yes

Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with

Season : 9 | Episode: 21

7 - Avoid the Chinese Mustard

When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvo

Season : 10 | Episode: 7

8 - Something My Gynecologist Said

Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman.

Season : 10 | Episode: 8

9 - I Scream When I Pee

Alans famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; when Berta isn't interested in celebrating her birthday, Walden tries to make her day special.

Season : 10 | Episode: 9

10 - One Nut Johnson

Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.

Season : 10 | Episode: 10

14 - Run Steven Staven! Run!

Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relatio

Season : 10 | Episode: 14

22 - My Bodacious Vidalia

With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look; Alan is faced with a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.

Season : 10 | Episode: 22

23 - Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped

Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old (Hilary Duff), but ends up being more interested in her grandmother (Marilu Henner); Jake and Alan go on a trip

Season : 10 | Episode: 23

1 - Nangnangnangnang

Charlie's 25-year-old daughter arrives at the beach house, hoping to get to know her family.

Season : 11 | Episode: 1

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